Labels: cry, crying, depression, Fake Smile, inbalance, Motivation, Nothing, Oblivious, Think, Tolerating, Unfairness, Unfortunate
I'm an idiot. Went and made myself depressed by over thinking, that's a first. The depression, not the thinking. Either way it's time to sleep things off.
Yay for inbalance. Getting pissed off for some reason. I have no idea why. It's strange. I don't get pissed off. I cry it out, I cry instead of anger. I cry instead of alot of things. I cry, instead of probably an emotion I should have towards a situation, yet I feel nothing. Just to avoid a build up.
Rambling.
Tinier things are noticeable.
Noticing how I can't write about the laugh or smiles I had today. Or the strange things. You always have more to say when it's negative. You remember the bad things in life more clearly, more frequently. You pick up flaws in people too often. Take someone you barely know, only talked to a few times. Mention only good things about them. Don't think about a simple flaw.
It's that way of thinking that's sad. Such negative energy. Always complaining about life, what's the point in complaining when you're bringing it all onto yourself. There's so much around, but you wouldn't care.
"There are flowers everywhere, for those who bother to look."
Makes perfect sense. Apparently I walk too slow. It's summer, even if I'm on my own. It's not a crime to enjoy that sun, relax with a few lollypops and notice how the sky is so much brighter. Notice how the bushes are so much greener or how the air is so much cleaner.
Somehow complaining, but then realizing you don't think of the wonderful things in life as often as you should. Changed my mood. So wonderfully talented, beautiful people are suffering. We joke about ethnicity, culture, beliefs, social status. But in reality, It's not funny at all. Genuinely knowing people, can create a scenic memory. It makes you stronger, maybe tougher, maybe happier.
When it comes down to it, not everyone on the streets is a damn drug abuser. We're stuck to assumptions, and judgmental media imposed images. We're mostly hypocrites. And rarely escape that fact.
Seems like I'm always tolerating people. But that's got nothing to do with it. Why can't I blog in a good mood? If it's a good mood, I have no motivation and go to bed very early. Typical. So let's fake a smile. Strange how all I need to do right now, is sleep it all off. It won't be there in the morning.Probably just realizing how unfortunate, unfair everything is when your oblivious to the world around you.Maybe I should write Poetry. Poetry sounds good.
-This Girl-
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